Blue Yoda Theories

Write a short story describing the events that took place when Yoda revealed his Blueness to Luke on Dagobah.

Themes should include the stick, the leaf, the berry, the lifesaber, Yoda's nameless parts, Pabst and, of course, incoherent drunken babble.

Filled with dispair and completely distraught over the visions and images he had seen while inside the cave, Luke wandered back to Yoda's home.....as the old troll called it, such as it was. Ingrossed in his own thoughts, Luke absent-mindedly picked up a stick and tossed it into the swamp not realizing it was actually a boomerang. The stick came hurling back almost hitting the young man in the head. If it weren't for his amazing Force enhanced reflexes, the blond locks on his head would have been messed up by the dangerous object.

"Careful you must be, young Skywalker. Dangerous sticks with no leafs or berries are." The wise old Master said. "Inside we must go, show you something I must."

"But, I'm tired. I don't want to train anymore today. What's the use anyway. I'll just turn out like Vader. Oh, I knew I shouldn't have run off with Obi-Wan on that fool mission to save the beautiful princess." Luke whinned.

"OUCH!" Luke yelled after being wacked over the head with the odd stick Yoda used as a cane. How'd he reach the top of my head with that stick, anyway?

"Stop whinning you must! Drink this, feel better you will. Forget what you saw inside the cave it will cause."

Three or four or ten or twelve Pabst Blue Ribbons later, sure 'nuff, Luke no longer remembered or cared about what had gone on inside the cave. Those gorgeous blue eyes of his suddenly began to see everything with a blue haze around it.

"Yoda, what the hell is in this drink you gave me? You are starting to look blue instead of green. This shit is making me see things. I could've sworn I just saw Obi-Wan...a blue Obi-Wan at that."

"Good this drink is. Pabst Blue Ribbon my favorite. Drink More!" the old master replied.

And so they did. They drank more. A lot more. Until not only was everything a lovely shade of blue, but the two were giggling like schoolgirls. Laughing and telling offensive jokes, leaving no race or being untouched by their humor.

"Hey, Yoda, how do you get a one armed Bothan out of a tree?........you wave to him."

"Funny that is, heard the one about the lesbian Gungan, have you?"

"No, master Yoda, I don't think I've heard that one."

"What did one lesbian Gungan say to the other?

Right they are, taste like chicken we do!"

At this point, both Luke and Yoda are bent over laughing, holding their sides, drunk as a Hutt on Boonta Eve.

"Pull my finger, young Skywalker."

Too drunk to realize what he was actually doing, Luke pulled Yoda's finger. "What the hell is that? You old fart, that'll make a Wookiee's hair curl. What the hell have you been eating, anyway?"

Yoda lifted his robe, revealing the nameless parts that really made the old warrior the legend he was, fanning the flames even more.

"Son of a Sith, Yoda. I did NOT need to see that!"

"What? My lifesaber you do not like? hmmm..? heh heh heh! Liked it quite a bit your mother did."

Luke stared at the little blue troll as though he'd just grown another head. Not sure if he'd heard him correctly or not.

Deciding Yoda was joking, Luke laughed and popped open another cold.....or Lukewarm one.

And so this little story could go on and on and on, this could be the story that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends.......but, like Yoda and Luke, it's time to pass out and sleep it off.

May the Blueness be with you.

AHBY!!!

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